I got mad reading my own email this week. Not because of the content, but because of a single sentence that sparked an important conversation we all need to have about ADHD, responsibility, and the harmful messages we unconsciously perpetuate.

Here’s what happened: My weekly email went out with a broken link. My assistant quickly sent an “oops” email to fix the mistake, which was perfectly handled and professional. But there was one line that stopped me cold: “Classic ADHD move, right?”

That sentence bothered me deeply, and I want to tell you why.

The Problem with “Classic ADHD Move”

That seemingly innocent phrase carries a dangerous implication: that ADHD equals mistakes. It reinforces the harmful stereotype that having ADHD means you’re inherently flawed, unreliable, or prone to errors.

This isn’t just about being oversensitive to language. This is about the real stigma that ADHD individuals face every day:

• People who find out you have ADHD suddenly start treating you differently
• Successful individuals don’t think they could possibly have ADHD because they’ve achieved things
• Every mistake gets attributed to your neurological difference rather than normal human fallibility

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who were diagnosed with ADHD later in life and initially rejected the diagnosis because they were successful. The prevailing narrative suggests that ADHD and success are mutually exclusive—which is absolutely false.

Everyone Makes Mistakes (Yes, Even Neurotypical People)

Here’s something we need to internalize: Everyone makes mistakes.

My husband—who doesn’t have ADHD—recently had detailed conversations with me that he completely forgot about. He defaulted back to previous discussions as if our recent talks never happened. Is that a “classic neurotypical move”? Of course not. It’s just a human mistake.

When my assistant (who also doesn’t have ADHD) forgot to include a link in an email, that wasn’t an ADHD mistake—it was a human mistake. The only difference is that when people with ADHD make mistakes, they’re often labeled as evidence of our neurological difference rather than normal human fallibility.

The Truth About ADHD and Success

You are not less than or wrong because of your ADHD. You’re a human having a human experience. Your challenges may be different from other people’s, but everyone is dealing with something.

The fact is, our mistakes are simply more noticeable in the cookie-cutter world we live in. You don’t fit in the same box, and that’s actually okay. Wouldn’t fitting in that box take away some of the things that make you uniquely you?

I’ve worked with countless ADHD clients in corporate settings who were:

• Severely unhappy with their jobs
• Feeling micromanaged and constrained
• Wanting time freedom and autonomy
• Frustrated by office politics they found pointless

Interestingly, many of these clients were giving their best creative energy to passion projects—podcasts, YouTube channels, certifications, writing, art—and handling their corporate work during off-peak hours. Yet they were still performing better than their neurotypical counterparts.

The Empowering Definition of Responsibility

Here’s my philosophy: ADHD is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.

This doesn’t mean you should apologize for having ADHD or accept blame for every challenge you face. It means you have the power and obligation to:

• Learn tools that work with your brain
• Strengthen the executive function skills that need support
• Create systems that help you succeed
• Seek support when needed

Taking responsibility is empowering. It means you have agency. It means you can create change.

Executive Function Skills: Your Areas for Growth

The most important skill to develop is doing what you say you will do—both for others and for yourself. This applies to everyone, not just people with ADHD.

To support this commitment, you might need to strengthen various executive function skills:

• Metacognition: Thinking about your thinking
• Organization: Structuring your environment and information
• Task Initiation: Getting started on important work
• Working Memory: Holding information while using it
• Time Management and Awareness: Understanding and managing time
• Impulse Control: Managing immediate reactions
• Goal-Directed Persistence: Following through to completion
• Cognitive Flexibility: Adapting when things change
• Prioritization and Planning: Deciding what matters most
• Sustained Focus: Maintaining attention over time
• Emotional Regulation: Managing emotional responses

Some of these skills are probably fine for you. Others may need strengthening or external support. That’s completely normal and nothing to apologize for.

Scaffolding vs. Apologizing

Instead of apologizing for your ADHD, focus on scaffolding—building supportive structures that help you succeed:

• Use medication if it helps (but remember: pills don’t teach skills)
• Develop systems that work with your brain rather than against it
• Learn time management techniques designed for ADHD minds
• Create organizational systems that reduce cognitive load
• Build accountability structures that support follow-through
• Seek coaching or support when needed

When you tell someone you’ll be somewhere at a certain time, it’s your responsibility to figure out how to make that happen. This might mean:

• Setting multiple alarms
• Planning extra travel time
• Using location-based reminders
• Creating departure rituals

This is responsibility without shame. It’s problem-solving, not apologizing.

The Corporate Reality (And the Escape Plan)

Yes, I help clients fit better into corporate boxes because those boxes exist and bills need to be paid. But I do this while encouraging every single one of them to develop their passion projects so they can eventually leave those constraining environments.

The corporate world often wants you to:

• Show up on time
• Get the job done
• Play office politics
• Stay focused on assigned tasks
• Conform to neurotypical expectations

While we can develop skills to meet these expectations, the ultimate goal is often creating alternatives that honor your authentic way of being.

You Are Whole Right Now

You are a complete, capable person right now. Your mistakes are not necessarily ADHD-related—they might simply be human mistakes. But as humans, we’re happier when we grow.

Growth doesn’t mean fixing what’s broken about you. It means building on your strengths and developing support systems for your challenges.

Moving Forward with Your Chin Up

Never apologize for having ADHD. Instead:

1. Own your growth journey without shame
2. Develop skills and systems that support your success
3. Seek support when you need it
4. Challenge ADHD stereotypes when you encounter them
5. Remember that everyone has challenges—yours just happen to have a name

Your ADHD is not a character flaw or a moral failing. It’s a neurological difference that comes with both challenges and strengths. Your job isn’t to apologize for it or hide it—it’s to understand it, work with it, and build a life that honors both your challenges and your gifts.