All right. This week we are talking about the three simple steps to more joy. The subject of joy keeps coming up in my private coaching and in group and the ADHD academy. So I decided to do an episode all about it. What I’ve noticed is my coaching clients come to me feeling overwhelmed. And then once we get things together in their life and we get their life and their brain organized, basically, then they’re open and they have the capacity to start bringing back joy.

Because when you’re in that state of overwhelm, you start pushing out all the things that are just too much for you to handle at that time. Right? And so when I see that they’re in a good place and they’re kind of rocking and rolling, and that is when I start suggesting that we bring in more joy and maybe this is you, too.

Like, if you get overwhelmed or you’re in that overwhelmed stage, that’s okay. This also applies to you, even if you’re still in it. And I’ll tell you a whole story about that in just a little bit. But why not add these things in now and have more joy in your life right now instead of waiting for your circumstances to be perfect?

And you really can hold that negative and positive emotion at the same time. And I’m going to tell you something that happened to me personally that really taught me a lesson, and I’m going to share that with you as well. So I put this in three simple steps. Number one, joy. Number two, adding joy. And number three, sustaining joy.

So we have to get intentional about noticing the good. With this step, we’re going to make a conscious effort to take note in your mind of the little things that make you happy.

I may have told this story previously, but it really applies here. There was a Saturday that I was really upset about something that happened, and I just happened to have scheduled coaching for that Saturday.

Usually I get coached during the week and that had always been, you know, my rhythm. And for some reason and we know why, right? Because the right I always tell all my clients the right people and the right resources come to you at the right time and that’s what really came together that day.

I for some odd reason scheduled on a Saturday and really needed coaching that Saturday.

And I was really proud of myself because I was kind of sitting with the emotions and I was angry. I was sad. I felt like my boundaries had been violated and I wasn’t running away from the emotions like I would have before. I had been getting coached before I had been learning about emotions. I was not very emotionally intelligent before coaching and I was sitting with these feelings, but I was really upset.

Like they felt huge and I was crying and I was just a hot mess and it was time for the call and I just showed up that way and she did such a good job of holding space for me. And I don’t know if that’s a coaching term, so I’ll kind of explain that. But we’re taught in certificate in to coaching certification to hold space for our clients and basically they’re allowed to have this container to feel.

However they’re feeling and we’re not going to get upset with them or we’re just going to create that safe space for them is what that means. And she did such a good job of doing this for me, and she asked me what I was feeling and I told her exactly what I told you. I was feeling angry, I was feeling sad, I was feeling violated, that I boundaries were violated.

And she asked which of those was the biggest feeling right now? And so what she was doing there, she’s like, okay, let’s take it one at a time. And I told her Sad was probably like the biggest one. And she did this exercise with me that you can find in my free resources. I will put a link in the notes and I have actually the audio where I guide you through this exercise.

And she did this with me. And by the end of it, I just felt so much better. I, I can’t say that. Like she took me through this and I didn’t feel sad anymore. I did feel sad. I still felt angry. I still felt violated. But after this exercise, it was all much more manageable. It was like it made it smaller so I could take it with me and just go about my day now.

And that felt so much better. But she also shared with me a poem It’s by Rumi, and it’s called The Houseguest. And I’m just going to go ahead and read read it to you here so you don’t have to Google this. Being human is a guesthouse every morning, a new arrival, a joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor welcome and entertain them all, even if they’ve a crowd of sorrows.

Sorry, Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, it’s what it says. Who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still treat each guest honorably. He may be cleaning you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

And she shared that poem with me. Actually, what she had said at that time when we were in the coaching session was, Have you ever heard of it? And I looked it up right afterwards. And that I mean, you hear what’s happening in the poem, and there’s something else. There’s like a gift that she gave me that I will give you that we’re talking about today. And she said, I want you to go away from this call and I want you to notice something that brings you joy. And she also said, like, notice the good. And so I got off the call. I looked up the poem and I walked to my kitchen.

And as I’m walking by, I walk by the living room and there’s a big window. And outside the window is an olive tree. And there was the most beautiful bird in that olive tree. And I love seeing birds we have out here where I live. We have hawks that come in like land every day. And they’re just they have that habit.

And I love watching them. I like watching the dove. And there’s all kinds of gorgeous birds out here. And that brings me joy. But yeah, I saw that bird and what I think she was offering me without saying it was like, you can feel bad and you can feel good at the same time. And I was like, Wow.

And so I just kept trying to like, notice the good that day. It didn’t do away with the bad. It just made me understand. I can feel both and the gifts there is. Okay, so when you are feeling bad, it doesn’t mean it’s all bad. You know, it’s not black or white. So yeah, just back to that. I noticed I could feel joy while feeling anger and sadness.

So how can you notice, Joy, Nature, Of course. I like I said, I love to watch the birds on our property. I take a walk in the evening to take in the sunset. This may be a little bit quirky, but I put little things around my house that just make me smile.

For example, we have this little salt and shaker, some salt and pepper shaker set that are tiny little ninjas. And the pepper is black and the the salt is white. And those make me laugh. I have like this little itty bitty Rubik’s cube that makes me smile, like just at my desk. I could, like, pull in all kinds of things.

I have these little bunnies that are like bookmarks I picked up at Barnes and Noble, but I love I have a little random, like, panda guy over here. I think he’s supposed to be a bookmark, too, but he looks like he’s been smashed and like, his face is all all upset. And so I will, like, set my cell phone on top of him.

And it’s just I think it’s hilarious. I have this little guy that holds like my my little USB for my mouse, but I just put like little random things like that around. If you can do that, definitely do that for yourself.

Okay. What is that for you? I know for several of my clients that is getting out gardening, creating or doing things that they used to love before and they need to bring back in again.

So number two, adding joy. How can you make this a more joyful world for other people? So I have one client that has an extra Instagram there and she puts like funny mom related stuff and I’ll put it in the show notes, but it’s I think you say it prosecco. I don’t I’m not sure. But p r o a s e c c o underscore and underscore or snorts and you’ll find that in the show notes if you want to follow her on Instagram.

And that’s actually April K from episode ten of the podcast, another of my clients, Cami be from episode five, she puts little kinda notes in the mail to people to thank them for things or to show her gratitude and so what are things you can do out in the world to bring joy to others? Maybe it’s pain for somebody coffee or lunch, or giving more of a tip than you normally would while you’re being served.

I’m writing a little note out of the blue for a friend or loved one. It could be just reaching out to people and saying hello by text or saying hello to strangers, complimenting and cashier, having a chat while in line. Just this weekend, actually, we went to the movies and I had to wait for something. And so did the guy behind the counter, the guy that’s like selling the popcorn.

And so I just started asking him questions. And it turns out that he has been teaching dance for ten years. He does like Tango and Ballroom, and he was telling me how much he loves it and just me being willing to ask questions. And while we were standing there waiting anyway, he got to talk about something he loved.

I got to have an interesting conversation. And so that you could do something just as simple as that. Just be interested in strangers. Now. Number three, sustaining joy. Now that you’re noticing joy and adding it, how do you keep this practices going and make it a habit? How many times as a person with ADHD do you get something going and it’s working for you, but you don’t keep it going.

So let’s figure this out now. You could put it into your routine or stack it with something that’s already a habit for example, my walks were a habit and I just got to notice the sunset while I was out for my walks.

You can leave yourself little notes right here. Actually, I have a little post-it that says Find the joy in Instagram. That’s kind of a coincidence, right? But I had been getting coaching on not liking Instagram very much, and it was because it just wasn’t a fun place to be. And so I’m going to go searching for the joy on Instagram, but a lot of my clients think like, Oh, it’s embarrassing that I have to leave myself a little note or somebody is going to see it and don’t even worry about that.

Leave yourself the note. It helps. I you can see I do it but the point here is to make this an everyday practice and put some intention behind it. It will happen naturally sometimes. But we want this to be a part of your everyday experience.

So that’s what I have for you guys this week to start noticing the joy, adding the joy and sustaining the joy. I hope you have a joyful week.