Do you ever find yourself acting on autopilot and then wondering, “Why did I do that?” Or feeling emotionally hijacked without realizing it until hours later? If you keep repeating patterns even when you know better, you might be missing a crucial executive function skill: metacognition.
Welcome to part seven of our Executive Function Series, where we explore metacognition—your ability to think about your thinking. Think of it as the quality control system for your mind, helping you reflect, pivot, and problem-solve with intention rather than reaction.
What Is Metacognition?
Metacognition is simply your awareness of your own thought processes. It’s the difference between being at the mercy of your thoughts and feelings versus recognizing them, questioning them, and choosing how to respond.
For those of us with ADHD, we can reach adulthood without realizing that our thoughts aren’t just happening to us. We may feel like passengers in our own minds, swept along by whatever mental current is strongest at the moment.
I often tell my teenage clients when they say they have “no idea” what they were thinking before getting upset or acting impulsively—I believe them. I was the same way, not just as a teenager, but well into adulthood. Until I learned about coaching and metacognition, I felt my thoughts were just happening to me with no control.
The Untrained Mind Metaphor
Living with an unmanaged mind is like walking an untrained dog. Let me share a personal example:
My dog is part lab, part German Shorthair, and 100% energy. Living in the country, she was never leash trained—she was used to running ahead, swimming in canals, chasing birds, doing her own thing. When I finally decided she needed leash training, it was chaos. She dragged me, chose the direction and speed, and I was just along for the ride.
That’s exactly what it feels like to live with an unmanaged mind. But just like my dog could be trained to walk calmly beside me, your mind can be trained to work with you rather than against you.
Tool #1: The Brain Dump – Your Mental Inventory
The easiest way to start building metacognition is through brain dumps. This simple practice helps you see what’s happening inside your head and begin sorting things out.
How to Do a Brain Dump
A brain dump takes 10-20 minutes maximum and involves getting everything out of your head without editing. You’ll capture a mix of:
- Random thoughts and worries
- Judgments about yourself and others
- To-dos and concerns
- Thoughts about past, present, and future
Choose your method:
- Writing: Slows things down and helps clarify thoughts
- Typing: Allows you to get thoughts out quickly (keyboard or phone)
- Voice-to-text: Perfect for verbal processors (I recommend Otter.ai)
- With a coach: Let someone else capture while you focus on expressing
Important: Don’t edit yourself. Nothing you think is a problem. This is private—you can destroy it afterward if you want.
Processing Your Brain Dump
Step 1: Circle Once everything is out, circle or underline thoughts that stand out as worth exploring deeper.
Step 2: Cancel (with caution) Sometimes seeing a thought on paper makes you realize it doesn’t matter. You can cancel it—but be careful. If you tend to dismiss yourself easily, skip this step. Ignoring thoughts doesn’t make them disappear; it’s like putting raw meat in a box on a shelf. It looks fine until it rots and leaks everywhere.
Step 3: The “And” Strategy For those with strong logical brains who try to dismiss difficult thoughts too quickly, use the “and” strategy. Instead of: “I’m a bad friend, but I know I’m good in other ways…”
Try: “I’m a bad friend AND a good friend.”
This acknowledges both realities without burying the real thought you’re having.
Tool #2: The CTFAR Model – Self-Coaching Framework
This framework helps you map out what’s happening in your mind and where you can intervene with intention. CTFAR stands for:
- Circumstance
- Thought
- Feeling
- Action
- Result
How It Works
Your thoughts create your feelings, which drive your actions, which produce your results. Most of the time, your results reinforce your original thought, creating a cycle.
Example: The Insurance Email
- Circumstance: Email from dentist saying insurance won’t pay
- Thought: “I don’t have time for this”
- Feeling: Overwhelmed
- Actions: Complain, avoid email, procrastinate, ruminate
- Result: Don’t make time for it, issue persists for weeks/months
Now you can see why this happened—it wasn’t personal failure, it was an automatic thought pattern creating predictable results.
Using CTFAR Intentionally
Once you identify an unintentional pattern, you can create an intentional one:
- Start with the result you want
- Work backward: What actions would create that result?
- Ask: What feeling would support those actions?
- Find: What thought would create that feeling?
Important: The new thought must be believable. Your brain will reject affirmations that feel false.
Real Example: Cleaning My Barn
Unintentional Model:
- Circumstance: Barn has trash and unwanted items
- Thought: “I don’t want to clean it, it’ll take forever”
- Feeling: Defeated
- Actions: Avoid, procrastinate
- Result: Barn stays messy
Intentional Model:
- Circumstance: Same barn situation
- Thought: “I can clean the barn up a little” (believable!)
- Feeling: Capable
- Actions: Tackle in small chunks, ask for help, use body doubling
- Result: Follow through on incremental cleaning plan
Building Your Metacognition Practice
These tools work best with consistent practice:
- Start small: Even 10 minutes most days makes a difference
- Be patient: This is a skill that develops over time
- Stay curious: Approach your thoughts without judgment
- Practice regularly: Like any skill, consistency matters more than perfection
Signs You Need Metacognition Development
- Acting on autopilot, then wondering why
- Feeling emotionally hijacked without noticing until later
- Repeating patterns even when you know better
- Struggling to course-correct mid-task or mid-day
If any of these feel familiar, it’s not a personal failing—it just means this skill is worth building.
The Power of Awareness
Metacognition gives you choice. Instead of being swept along by whatever thoughts and feelings arise, you can:
- Notice what’s happening in your mind
- Question whether thoughts are helpful or true
- Choose different thoughts that support your goals
- Take intentional actions rather than reactive ones
This isn’t about positive thinking or suppressing difficult emotions. It’s about developing the awareness to respond consciously rather than react automatically.
Getting Started Today
- Try a brain dump: Set aside 15 minutes to get everything out of your head
- Practice the CTFAR model: Use it on a current challenge you’re facing
- Notice patterns: Start paying attention to your automatic thought patterns
- Be compassionate: Remember, you’re learning a skill that wasn’t taught in school
Remember: You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts, and that awareness gives you the power to choose what to do with them.
Want to dive deeper into metacognition and self-coaching? Download my free Self-Coaching Workbook at http://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/selfcoaching or book a consultation to explore how coaching can support your growth at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services.
#Metacognition #ExecutiveFunction #ADHDSelfAwareness #SelfCoaching #MindfulnessForADHD
