All right. Welcome back, guys. Today we have RJ Issac with us. Can you introduce yourself further than your name? Yeah. So Issac RJ. I am a property manager by profession. You know, I work with property management companies across the United States.

And yeah, I basically have discovered over. Just recognizing the tendencies and the characteristics that I have and I’ve not been diagnosed with it. But after consuming as much content I have on the topic, I am absolutely convinced that that is the case. And in our very short conversation before the episode, I also confirm, okay, definitely RJ has the tendencies of ADHD for sure, but what we were talking about some challenges that you were having with the ADHD symptoms and one of them that I’m noticing right out of the gate is and just so people know this is the new form of episodes that I’m doing where we’re coaching, we’re actually coaching on these episodes.

So RJ is one like probably the third one that’s we’ve done so far. But what I’m noticing is rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria. And can you tell us like how that showed up for you? Yeah. So this is something I really started noticing probably when I was in college. So I’ve never really been able to connect with people. I’ve always felt like I’m an outsider.

Now, a big part of this, I will add, is I was homeschooled from kindergarten through 12th grade, and so I wasn’t surrounded with with friends and people and, you know, finding me my place like I was or like a lot of people would in school. And so when I actually went to college, I actually get to the cafeteria and I just feel like overwhelmed, like, how do we even sit at a table?

Like to I just go sit with other people to sit on my own and have to look like I don’t know what to do here. So just to give you a bit of context there, but even when I would be, you know, with a particular group of people, I just never felt like I was accepted. And I just felt like I was a constant disappointment to everybody, even people that I could come up with no logical reason or rational explanation of why would be a disappointment to them, and that everybody just disliked me or even hated me.

Again, people that I could rationally look and say, there’s no reason for this to be the case. Yeah, but that’s just the impression I get. I will add that again, it’s it’s I never a case where I have some support. Was it congenital vision problems and things. And I have also determined again, I don’t know the diagnosis because there’s still benefits every day.

There’s this, but I have some level of face blindness. So one of the characteristics of this is that I would recognize people in school based on the backpack they wore, because if someone would change their hairstyle, I just wouldn’t be recognized anymore. Or if they okay, sheaves are bigger, we have to slow down face blindness. Yeah, I have heard of this before, but I don’t really know anything about it because you tell me more.

Yeah. So it’s. What is it? Prospecting easier. You said you have more technical term for it. And again, like I said, I, I don’t like people giving fake diagnosis so I’m not, I won’t be very clear this is done. It’s something I’ve been diagnosed, but since there’s no treatment for it, it’s just more of you learn how to cope with it, right?

I haven’t really seen any benefit of going and seeking the diagnosis for. And one of the things that people do is you just you don’t recognize faces that actually a a really good way can explain. This is, you know, I’m married. I’ve been married for ten years. And if I was to try and picture my wife’s face in my mind, I cannot conjure a picture of what my wife looks like in my mind.

okay. Fascinating. I can conjure pictures of, you know, anything else I can conjure a picture of, like, a like. And I’ll give something. Also one kind of distinction here. I can think of a picture of her, and if I can think of a specific picture of her, then I can remember that picture. But I can’t just create a image, a mental image of her from from scratch so I can make a mental image of what the Mona Lisa looks like.

But if someone was to go and like, make the Mona Lisa the same person, the Mona Lisa in a different context, I would recognize that they’re the same person. interesting. So that was that leads to my question, actually, with the RCD, like, was it a comment that was made? Was it something somebody said or was it the way they looked at you or, you know, that kind of thing, or was it just a general feeling?

So it was a general feeling. And this is where I basically came to just believe that this was more of a case. I don’t recognize people’s faces and I can’t maybe there’s some facial expressions I don’t understand and I don’t know, maybe that is still the case. It’s hard for me to really know. But what I started hearing and this the this rejection sensitivity was one.

The big dinosaur I heard about that is a that seems to actually fit way more. Yeah. Because when I hear people talk about people who struggle with face blindness, I don’t hear them talk about this at all. I can’t recognize people’s facial expressions and I just feel like people were mad at me all the time. So that didn’t really seem to fit as well.

Just on my own researching. Yeah. So, so interesting. So if we were to solve a big challenge for you today, what would that be? So right now what the I would say I have two big challenges right now. One is I actually go and have phone calls with my clients and I have an incredible amount of anxiety. And it is going back to the idea of rejection sensitivity, where the going in having these weekly phone calls with the clients they have.

I know there’s no reason for them to be upset at me. I know that there happens to work. I do that every single conversation I have is positive. And even when I’ve had, you know, been been actually attacked, so to speak, by a client and and kind of ambushed, I’ve been able to handle it really well. And I have the skill sets to handle these situations.

Yeah. But the idea that I’ve just I get so much anxiety from even having these these zoom calls each week and I don’t even I can’t really explain why. It’s it just seems like, again, this feeling like even in spite of all these things that I can explain, I can rationalize that they’re going to sort of be mad at me and probably disappointed in something I’m doing, probably unhappy with the work I’m doing, even though there’s absolutely no evidence of any of that.

So that’s one big thing. The second big thing is that I have these it’s, I guess, getting started on tasks like have the tasks that I know I need to do. So I could I can give you a really good example of this. This is like I will get an email and or a letter and I know that I just need to open the letter, read what’s in the letter, and I get this weird anxiety about just looking at the email or looking a letter, not because there’s again, anything rational I but but just it seems like this like the effort to sometimes not all emails but sometimes I just like like the effort to

open up an email or to do a very simple task is so enormous that like I have to like psych myself up to do something like this. And I know for people who don’t have ADHD, this is the most ridiculous thing because why? Why would it be such a big deal? Yeah. Is it the task that it will create or is it the feeling around it?

Ask your question. Well, it’s it’s of get a feeling around it because I mean, it’s not even necessarily that there’s any task it involves that there could be it’s just it’s absolutely fact that it’s unknown but it’s going to be it could be a case of that again, you know it’s I get this email and I look at the email and half expecting that it’s going to say, you know, we’re just so disappointed in everything that you’ve ever done again.

Sure. You notice that’s a theme. Yes. yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. I recognize. I am well aware of that. And where do you think that theme comes from? Of like, I’m a disappointment. I, I look, if I’m going to be very direct probably, I mean there’s perhaps some aspects of it. It’s like relationships we had with my parents where that was a very constant theme.

But beyond that, yeah, I really can say yeah, I mean that’s huge. Like it’s, it’s, it gets very ingrained. But what we can do now is kind of rewrite the story of, you know, you get to be your own parent now, even even if your parents are, you know, still around, it’s okay. You are a parent yourself. How how does that I’m curious how that plays out in you being a father.

In what aspects like do you go out of your way to make sure they don’t feel like they’re a disappointment? So too, I have three boys, my oldest to our autistic nonverbal. They so the relationship I have with them is just very, very abnormal. It’s not something like it’s just it’s not what a typical parent child relationship not to brother in law.

So I definitely get that. Yeah. Yeah. And so with my but with my youngest, it’s something where I will I talk to them a lot like like so one of the things that will happen is, you know, when there’s so I’ll, I’ll try to example here my, one of my, my autistic son they will have these like particularly my, my oldest Andrew, he will have these spells where he will just be screaming for hours and it creates a lot of stress and a lot of tension, a lot of be pick, pick a negative descriptor you want to use for it for nations and got his present there.

Yeah and what I what has I started noticing was my youngest Evan he would start seeing that he that that you know Andrew is causing all these tensions and all the stress and anxiety within the family and from the with all these relationships. And so he started seeming as if he was trying to step in and be the person dad is responsible for mine and my wife’s happiness and trying to be, you know, make the client around or just, you know, do things to to try and make sure we stay happy.

And I would tell him, like, look, you know, you are not responsible for our happiness. You know, we we love you. We we want the best for you. And, you know, look, we it’s we want to try and make sure you’re happy, but you don’t feel like you need to have this responsibility on you. And so having very direct conversations about, you know, like I thing I did and actually I will give this as a massive people piece of advice for for parents is I started doing this thing when my kids were very young where anytime they were crying, I would ask in a very genuine tone so it wouldn’t be like ask them, you

know, why are you sad? And specifically that phrase. And I wouldn’t say it like, why are you sad? But like, you know, very question, Why are you sad? Just curiosity. I sort of just yeah, for genuine curiosity. And I’d even do this with with other kids now. It’s just not even my own kids to ever kids. I would see that I’d be crying, you know, if I’m you pick my kids from day care and there’s a a child there that’s that’s crying.

And I just look at him and say, Why are you sad? And when I asked that question, they would stop crying. And I really wanted my son specifically with this to start being able to describe what his emotions are and be able to answer what his emotions are and such, and even things like, and tell him that it’s okay to be sad.

I’m not mad to be savage when I know what what it is and that it’s okay for me to be angry and and so, like, he’ll get mad sometimes and I’ll say, you know, why are you mad? It’s like, because Andrew did this thing, you know, I’m happy and baby sad. And it’s like, okay, it’s okay. Be sad how long you can be sad for us.

Like, I would be sad for 3 minutes. Like, okay, I won’t start a tiger for 3 minutes. Check in with you in 3 minutes and Tyreke is off in 3 minutes or 3 minutes. How do you feel? Okay I’m a better now and he goes on playing I mean and so I’ve been really really very focused on his emotional well-being because of all these additional things with his brothers and you know, the experiences I’ve had as well.

Yeah. So I’ll kind of replay that on you like why are you anxious about these phone calls? I again, the only thing I can say is because I, I feel as if that there’s that I guess in a very broad sense, I would say that I feel as if I’m never meaning up to what I should be able to do, that I’m not as attentive as I should be, and that they’re just that I’m going to be disappointing my clients and getting them upset and that you know, I’m going to have some difficult conversation that, you know, I’m just not prepared for.

You have clear in your mind what exactly you should be delivering to them and how attentive you should be. And I’m putting shut in quotes properly. I mean, so it’s that’s it’s an interesting question. So I with the work I do, it’s it’s, you know, very typical on a monthly basis, you know, to go and you know, deliver reports that, you know, at specific times and you know, beat deadlines and generally silences deadlines for being that and you know and I address the issues they’re running too quickly enough.

I think maybe part of it could be that I’m afraid that there’s something I forgot about, something that I supposed to do that I missed that might be happening. But I, I can’t say there’s anything specific beyond that. Yeah. And what happens if you missed something? Usually they just let me know. Hey, by the way, did you get this done?

And I’ll go take care of it right now. And it’s a non-issue. I’m like, It’s not a big deal. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Okay. And the reason I ask about, like, are you specific on what you should deliver is because sometimes we can not decide what is enough in a certain container. And in this case it might be your clients.

And if we don’t know what’s enough, we can just kind of go on and on and on forever on what we should be doing. Right. So do you have clarity on what’s enough, what’s enough attention? What’s enough deliverability? Yeah, I mean, for I was first with what needs to be done. It’s it is pretty clear and like I said, it’s not so much about even.

It’s the things they don’t know. It’s I guess what gets me more anxious is the things of that, you know, Did I did I was there a you know, a bill that was missed? Was there you know, this was was something just it’s the unknown. I think it’s a bigger issue. I know that the stuff I’m doing is good, but what if there was something that I wasn’t aware of that is a problem?

Yeah, there’s a concept in coaching called worry ahead of time and what that is, is where we like get anxiety or stress or worry about stuff that hasn’t happened yet and it usually only 30% of the time that’s even worth it. So like what if you were to just step back and your brain is like, don’t forget, you should worry there might be a bill that’s missed, There might be something.

But are you able to tell yourself like, Hey, it’s okay, we got it, I know how to fix this. If there’s a problem. Like, is there room for that? And it’s usually the way I do approach it is, well, it’s I do usually wait. I will usually approach it’s one or two ways is I’ll so I know I’ll have a meeting at 6:00 as an example on and I’ll say that either I’ll, I’ll just keep myself busy until 6:00 and then that way when it, when the time hits like okay guys, jump into the meeting and I don’t have time to think about the, you know, the anxiety of getting into it.

The challenge here is that I feel like I’m coming in a bit unprepared and then the other solution would be too, is more what you say is to basically take some time beforehand to get to think through it and to to just say, okay, you know, let’s just look, make sure that I have, you know, all these boxes checked and that’s all the boxes are checked.

That’s at least good enough for me to go and present to them. And if something comes up, you know, I know about it. I can look back at all these cases where, you know, I problems have come up and it’s been a non-issue. And you’ve had it. Yeah. And if you know and I don’t need to worry about it.

Yeah. And that’s, that’s what has worked so far, but it just still comes out that it she still has an anxiety that. Have you done like downloads around this. I don’t know what that email you’re with thought downloads. Okay so let’s say when’s your next call for example I. Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning. Okay. So you’re thinking about your call Tuesday morning and you sit down with a notebook or a voice note app or whatever works for you and you’re putting down all your thoughts about that call.

What would those kind of thoughts be?

I don’t know. That’s challenging. Interesting. Yeah, interesting. Okay. So for those of us with ADHD, sometimes we can feel like our thoughts are just happening to us. It’s just like it’s immediate. And then we, we, our thoughts create our feelings which make us take or not take certain actions which get us the results that we get right.

And you’re very good in the feeling area. It sounds like where like you’re you’re able to help your child go, okay, like what big feelings are you having is kind of how I summarize, like what you’re doing. But the thinking is what creates the feeling. Like your son had a thought about something his brother did, and that made him feel sad, for example, and made him maybe cry.

Take the action, you know, and with you, when I ask you to like, pin down your your thoughts, it’s challenging. So what I would challenge you to do, like an action item to take away from this call would be take some time, maybe set a timer. I love. I’m always pulling, pulling in my visual timer. I love the visual timers.

You can get an app on your phone that does a visual timer. As long as you’re like me and you’ve turned off every single notification on your phone, that can be very effective. But like set a visual timer before your meeting and just take down the thoughts that you’re having and like you do with your son. Get curious about those thoughts, like why might we be thinking that?

What else could I be thinking? And I good tool that I have offered in previous calls is or I could be thinking. So an example that you gave is I may have missed something, I may have missed something and this person might be upset with me, or I could be thinking, I’ve got this, I’ve handled it before, or I could be thinking, I’ve taken care of everything I’m aware of, or I could be thinking they might be completely happy with the situation.

And I’ve seen that in the past. Where that’s been true, though or I could be thinking only works if it’s true, if it’s just positive thinking. That’s like saying, Is lipstick on a pig, right? Yeah, it just it doesn’t work. Your brain is just like it just shuffles it right out. It’s like, now that’s not true. Forget that.

Is that something that you might find effective? Yeah. Yeah, I think I’ll give that a try. Yeah. And I think really getting aware of those thoughts that you’re having about the call because I think right now they’re just happening so fast and it’s creating anxiety and sometimes that’s people pleasing. Is that anything in your world? That’s a good question So it’s I used to think not, but there’s probably an aspect of it that so one of the things I used to think was that I was I used to think as a very cold person that I didn’t really care about people that much.

And I used to feel that way, too. That’s very interesting. And then I started realizing that I’m actually a very empathetic person. Yeah. And that I’m able to and it’s like I’m still I don’t explain. It’s like I’m able to buy my perspective on things so like, I can look at someone and say, I understand how they feel and the challenges and the struggles are going with and I feel bad for them.

But at the same time, I understand that, you know, this is kind of life and I need to so like, you know, my my sister in law is going through some challenges right now. And I, I can look at this and say, like, I feel bad for her. I feel bad for the challenges she’s going through. But I have no impact on that.

And so I compartmentalize it. That’s probably best word I could use because I’m able to compartmentalize it better. But as far as going with people pleasing, is that it’s I there’s probably more probably is an aspect of it that that comes from this more empathetic side of me that, you know, you know, feels bad for people and want to, you know, try and make people happy.

I just it’s never something I really kind of identify with myself. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so she got a challenge. One was these phone calls and I have another client that is a loan officer and has a very big challenge with making the phone calls that need to be made. This anxiety around the phone calls happens, happens a lot.

But really I think the biggest tool would be and if we had more sessions, this would be fantastic. But what I want you to go away with today is write down those thoughts, question those thoughts. Get curious about those thoughts as if those thoughts were your own child. You know, like those thoughts are just things that your brain is offering you.

They’re not you. They they’re separate from you. Our thoughts, I, I think sometimes people think like, if I think of a certain thought, I’m like an ax murderer or something like that. And that’s not the case. Like, our brain just offers us all kinds of crazy thoughts to protect us or to keep everything the same. You know, you mentioned the task initiation issue.

I’m equating it to an executive function skill because that’s what ADHD is, right? It’s a loss of executive function in certain areas. But if we were to equate it to that, like the getting started part, like that’s that’s also an anxiety and there’s thoughts around that. Like what kind of things going into that? What kind of things do you have trouble getting started with?

You mentioned the emails, letters. Is there are there other things or is that mainly it? Well, I can give a so I ran into a problem earlier this year where I had to okay, I’ll try and keep this. If I’m going too much in the weeds on this, just let me know. I try, but there’s a bit of context to it.

Yeah. So like I mentioned before, you know, I live in Europe and the way cars get registered is just different than what would happen to the United States. Okay, That’s something that was a big learning curve for me when I first came here. Just understanding this and I had to go through I knew that my car registration was ending and I knew that there was a series of steps that were doing that that needed to go through to get this done.

And I knew that this was going on for months. And the and just even I knew what I needed to do was I needed to send a basically all to just do it makes sense. The way it works is that you haven’t when you buy a car, you don’t take ownership of the car. You get a a power of attorney saying that you can drive and use it and have all rights of the car.

As a future owner, it’s kind of weird. So I needed to get send a text message. The owner of the car even knows my car called police and a single text message to the owner. It’s all I needed to do is send this message. And four, I neglected it. I didn’t do it for months. I have no good reason not to do it for months, but just the amount of effort it would took me to actually do it.

And I basically waited until like the last minute possible to get it done. And I was I was carrying even with this I was carrying all of this stress and this this anxiety about this that like, hey, I haven’t gotten this done yet. And so again, it’s something where I could look at this rationally and say, I know what needs to be done.

I know it’s not a problem to get it done, but I think it came down to this just be again, because it’s a new process. It’s something that I wasn’t really familiar with. And so the unknown of what could happen on the other side of it was just overwhelming to me and that I just didn’t take action much earlier.

And if I did it all, the stress would have gone away, all the problems would have gone away and all the if the challenges that resulted actually from my failure to take action sooner would have happened. But yeah, that would be that’s part of a really good example of just failure to take action on a street, really simple task.

So usually the reason we don’t take action as people with ADHD is it’s either boring, it’s too big or we don’t know how and we don’t know how. Could be we don’t have the skills, we don’t know the next steps like you’re describing with with this. So what stopped you from just I mean, it’s a text. What stopped you from setting a timer for 5 minutes and sending the text?

It’s it’s because I, I didn’t know what the outcome of the text would be. I didn’t know where. So. So I needed to get a document from from the owner. And there’s nothing like, like I know you could have come back and said just spoken. It just ignored it and I would have been stuck. You could have just said, you know, I’ll do it.

If you go and, you know, pay me another €100 or something like he or he were like, you did. He said, yeah, no problem, get over it. You also go, What happened? But just, just not knowing how. But I guess I’ll put it this way. I am very good at identifying all the possible ways things can turn out badly.

And so I am aware about how, how all these problems can happen now and so I end up focusing more on all the problems instead of that, the fact that things will most likely. I look at like give you so many examples of where things just turned out the right way when they shouldn’t have. And I can accept this.

I understand, but I’m so good at identifying all the all the way things are just going to, you know, in it turning badly for me and our brains are wired that way to, like, find the negative and to, you know, like I said before, be protective. And then you get the, you know, the problematic issue of being smart.

So I’m sorry. The smarter you are, the more you’re able to identify everything that’s going to go wrong. But like, what if you just started practicing thinking that it’s all going to work out? And that is something I really within the past, like month, but probably even past couple of weeks, I’ve really tried to do that. And yeah, so I recently took a trip to El Salvador and the entire time during the trip, again, I for further same reasons I would, I do travel, I do get some anxiety about like all the things that can go badly and I just push my way through and, you know, just say I just I, I break down

my, I hope trip just in small steps like, okay, right now I just need room at the gate. And if I’m at the gate, everything else is fine. You’re playing great. Then you worry about stuff. And that’s how I get through that. And, you know, with this recent trip I took, there was I kept telling myself, okay, all the things like, things are gonna work out, things are going to be fine.

And if you don’t mind what I share a really interesting anecdote because this is this really is how things do turn out. Well, yeah, but a good example of this is when I was actually coming back, I, you know, people people drive kind of crazy in El Salvador. I mean, this is what it is. And I’m not used to kind of that kind of self driving.

And I was like, I need to get to the airport airports an hour away from the main city. And so I was like, I really don’t want to be driving at night. So my flight was at 11:00 at night, but I was like, I’m just going get to the airport at 6:00. That way I’m there right at sundown.

And I don’t know, we’re about driving at night when everyone’s kind of being more crazy. And so I arrive at the airport, try checking in and can’t check in, cause I’m kind of there 11 hours early. Of course I can’t check in. No big deal. I’m just going to go hang out at, you know, one of the restaurants nearby and wait for, you know, wait a couple hours while I’m waiting at the restaurant.

I’m not getting a series of emails. And ultimately at 730, I see an email says that they’re boarding my flight, which doesn’t make sense because my flight’s at 11:00, not at 730. Turns out they canceled the 11:00 flight. Put me on the 8:00 flight and never notified me. And so I end up running to the gate. And ultimately I was boarding the plane at was it 753 and we were taxiing at 8:00.

Yeah. And and so the reality is that like this, this worked out when it shouldn’t have. I mean, you should arrive at it for an international flight until 3 hours beforehand. But if I did that, I would have right for right where my the actual flight I was booked on now was leaving. And so things just worked out and I got an and and I did get stuck in in El Salvador and that was a you know, a massive relief.

And so I can look at I this has been something I’ve actually really held on to that. Okay. Look, I’m just going to accept things are going to work out in ways. And, you know, even more recently, this is a never a situation of a car where I you know, there was a hot day and I needed to it’s like I’m just gonna leave my windows rolled down a bit.

Well, turned out that the the battery my car died and the batteries actually underneath the passenger side door. And so in order for me to actually get the jumper cables into the battery, I had to go through a crack of the window that I left open. Completely coincidental, but, you know, it just worked out. And so that is something I’ve really been trying to not just believe but really pay attention to these like, wow, this is crazy how this just happened to work out in a in a perfect way.

Yeah. And one of my favorite thoughts around that is like, it’s always working out and, and I actually share that with my husband. And it’s funny, like when we get like a parking spot or, you know, get into a restaurant that we shouldn’t be able to get into or something like that, I’m like, it’s always working out. And it’s and even just to say that, like, it just relaxes my shoulders, like it’s always working out.

So, like, what if we took that into your phone calls as well? Like, it’s always working out. Like, if you had missed that flight, you still would have gotten home. Yeah, you would have figured it out. Another thought that I would offer you is like, I’m resourceful. You know, you’re smart. You don’t you don’t like to to brag about it.

But you know, you are as as most ADHD people are, right? So we know how to make things work. Our brain just wants to offer this anxiety. How can you calm your brain around these calls that you need to make? I’m kind of flip flopping between your two, your two problems here, but like, how can you call me brain around these these calls?

What could you be telling yourself? I I think like like, like you mentioned, just trying to take the same idea of, like the things that are outside of work where I keep pointing out how, you know, these things are working out and take that same mentality and just be saying that, you know, things are going to be working out with the calls to.

And I just did it. And then if they and again, if they don’t like like it has happened that I still have the skills to get to work around that and to to solve those problems as they come up. Now, what comes to my mind is I know how to fix it. Yeah. And again, as far as the way people hire me.

So yeah, so it’s always working out. I had a thought as I and maybe I wrote it down. No, it’s the it’s always working out. But yeah, just taking that into your calls and just recognizing like, okay, I’m feeling anxiety, naming your feeling like you do with your child, which is a beautiful thing. Now you get to parent yourself and name your feeling and going, okay, I’m feeling anxiety about this call.

Why am I feeling anxiety about this call? It’s going on and just checking in with yourself and going, okay, I’m afraid that this might happen. Okay. What are you going to do about that? Like, or you could go to like, worst case scenario. Worst case scenario. This client is completely angry with me, which is like, once you start thinking about it, it’s almost ridiculous, right?

Like, you know, that’s not going to happen. But, you know, you’re good at what you do and that that’s not going to be the case. But if you go to worst case scenario, your brain gets to go, okay, so, you know, you you under that’s that’s what our brains are saying. You understand this could be terrible. This could be a dumpster fire.

Like, thank you for understanding. I can go calm down now. That’s what worst case scenario does for us. So we have about 5 minutes left. Is there anything else that you wanted to share? No, I don’t. I don’t think so. Okay. All right. Well, we’ve got some tools to work on. I’d love for you to do some thought downloads and understand, like, what’s going on your brain that’s going to really help you, like, slow things down so that your thoughts aren’t happening so quickly that you’re getting the feelings and you don’t understand where the feelings are coming from.

Those thought downloads. Now, when you do the downloads, you don’t get to judge it. That’s so I tell my clients what happens is first we have awareness and then we have judgment. And this is regarding thoughts. It’s actually regarding everything. First we have awareness, then we have judgments. You’re going to, kind of a mess in my brain.

Okay, I don’t love that. I’m having all these negative thoughts. And then you have acceptance where it’s like, okay, have positive thoughts and I have negative thoughts and that’s okay. And it doesn’t mean anything about me. It’s just how my brain works. And that’s okay. But you kind of don’t get to skip a step. You have the awareness, which is where the thought download is going to come in, and then the judgment.

And when the judgment comes, just go, okay, Mande said this would happen. Mande said, I would think that I’m a negative, terrible person for thinking all the things that I’m thinking, and that’s okay. And then you have the acceptance. I’m a human. I’m thinking good things and I’m thinking bad things. What gets me to the goal that I want to get to?

What makes me make the call, What makes me take the next step on the thing I need to do. What makes me open the letter, What makes me open the email? Like, what are those things? What thought helps me get there? And one thing that you mentioned that you’re kind of already doing with you mentioned it with the flight is like just the next step.

Just all I have to worry about is the next step and that’s it. And after that, everything is going to work out. And because it’s always working out for you, right? I love how like actually, eventually. Eventually, yes. Yeah. Some bumps in the road, but you know, it gets there and that’s okay. It’s just all part of the experience, right?

Yeah. Yeah. All right. RJ, is there any way you know, you don’t have to, but is there any way you would like people to reach out to you? Yeah. I mean, if if I mean, if there’s anybody that is interested in having and getting some exceptional property management consultation or need some assistance with managing their bookkeeping specifically using the app folio software, that’s a long one where I specialize in.

So if you someone else can’t really help me too much, then yeah, reach out to me. Consider email to me at rjIsaac.com Very good. Well, thank you so much for being here today and sharing and being so vulnerable. I’m sure it’s going to help people go. Yeah, me too. We’ve got to help. All right. Thanks, RJ.