Welcome to Learn to Thrive with ADHD. This is the podcast for adults with ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms. I’m your host, Coach Mande John. I’m here to make your life with ADHD easier. Let’s get started.

We’re talking about your future self today. So how would you say you’re treating your future self? Are you leaving them to deal with problems that you’ve created or not dealt with now? Are you doing things to set them up for success and all the areas that matter to you most? It may be a little bit of both.

Today we’re going to talk about creating such an amazing relationship with your future self that it colors every decision that you make in the present. Let’s start by getting really clear about the picture of your future self. You get to decide everything about this version of you. Close your eyes and imagine who you would want to become.

Who do you see perhaps your business or career is going really well, your relationships are rich and rewarding. Your physical and emotional health is the best it’s ever been. And you’re finally doing the things that you always wanted to do. Having a clear vision of who you want to be creates a map that guides your decisions and actions today.

Knowing your destination helps you understand all the stops you need to make along the way. Next, I want you to pull out a sheet of paper or two and write down all that you envisioned. How are you different? How have you grown? What experiences have you had? How is your health? Are you surrounded by people that inspire you?

People you love. Are you an inspiration to others? What does your future self-want? And answer as many questions as come to mind for you. As you’re doing this exercise, I want you to consider how these things would make you feel. Are you excited to wake up in the morning in the future? Do you smile and laugh more?

Do you love deeply? Do you support those around you with pure acceptance? Have you built discipline? Do you feel resilient and capable? How does your future self want to feel a really great tool that I’ve used personally over and over is to write letters. You can start wherever you like, but one way is to write a letter to your future self.

What do you want them to know? What will you commit to doing for them? What do you imagine? They’re like, perhaps reassure your future self. You will keep them in mind with the daily decisions. What are those exactly? Another version of this exercise is to write a letter. From your future self to your present self, as you step into who he or she is to write this letter.

How are you different? What knowledge do they have to impart to you? What are they grateful you did for them? What are they really proud of you for? What is better or easier for them because of the actions that you took? And the third is to write a letter to your Past self. What are you grateful to them for?

What might you need to forgive them for? What do you want them to know about things they may regret? Perhaps those things shape the way you are in really great ways. These letters will give you a ton of insight. First, what you might need to know to fulfill these commitments that you made to your future self.

Second, a better understanding of who your future self is. And third, that the past is the past and we can learn from it and move forward. Small actions can lead to big results. Now that you have a clear understanding of who and how you want to be in the future, what needs to happen to move towards those goals?

For example, if the goal is to have a certain career, what education or experience needs to happen to get there? No matter what your goal is, it needs to be broken down. What needs to happen this year, this quarter, this month, this week, and down to this day? Imagine these pieces like building a bridge. Each step is like adding a piece to the bridge, and eventually the bridge is built to the point that you can get to the other side.

I have a personal example where I look back on decisions that I made that I’m really grateful for. About 17 years ago, we went from really terrible finances to working hard to pay off our debt to live within our means. Probably about 10 years ago or more, my husband and I were out at a restaurant for date night, and I asked him what he wanted meaning like, what did he want in life?

He said he would like to own a gym. Someday. I agreed saying that if we had 1, I would want to set it up like Stephanie’s gym. 1 of the 2 gyms in our little town. A couple of years later. My uncle was ill with diabetes, and it sent me down a rabbit hole of how I should be eating since this is part of my family genetics.

I changed my diet completely. And about 7 months later, my husband gets on board as well. He lost 30 pounds that none of us knew he had. And he starts telling everyone he gets a nutrition certification and starts helping people lose weight with this diet. We stopped counting at about a thousand pounds that he’s helped people lose.

And then the ripple effect happens, and those people help other people. And all of that’s amazing. But remember the gym, my husband runs into Stephanie in the grocery store, the one that had the gym that we wanted to model our future gym after. And he tells her about his certification to share with her members of her gym.

And she asked him if he would be interested in buying the gym. He said, yes, of course. A couple of years later, we go through the process and the gym is ours. We love the business from the start. It’s been nothing but a joy and a blessing. A year or two after I started getting coaching, I decided I wanted to get certified as a coach, and this is a serious investment.

And we’re able to do this in cash because of the extra income from the business. And here I am talking to you. Do you see the series of past decisions? We couldn’t have bought the business without. Our past selves paying off the debt. My husband would have never helped all those people lose the weight.

Had I not decided to completely change my diet, then he wouldn’t have had that opportunity with Stephanie in the store. And I wouldn’t be talking to you today. That is just a series of good decisions, not knowing what was coming. What can you create when you do this intentionally? Having worked backward with your goals, how are you going to move forward on those daily, weekly, and monthly?

This is going to require planning. You can’t just hope that they will happen or fit them in where you can. The more intentional you are, the faster and further you will go. When I’m working with my clients, we work on either simple daily plans or weekly plans. You can make this as simple or technical as you want, but the best plan is the one that you actually follow.

When you give something a specific day and time, you dramatically increase the chances that it will happen. In the ADHD Academy, we have a course. On time management in the library of courses, if you aren’t there yet, come join us at www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/membership. How would you feel if you woke up each day with a doable plan to reach your goals for your future self-planning in this way by breaking your goals down into the tiniest pieces is like you wanting to run a marathon and your plan for the day is just to put your running shoes on.

Let’s get you some help along the way. Accountability is so effective and can be done in so many ways. Being accountable can have a negative connotation. That is not what we’re talking about here. You’re looking for someone to support you, cheer you on someone to troubleshoot with, not someone that’s going to hold your feet to the fire and reprimand you in any way.

You might enlist a trusted friend or family member, or perhaps report on social media, use body doubling tools to keep you accountable to do tasks that you plan to do or hire a coach like me with private coaching or group coaching with ADHD Academy. What are other ways that you’ve experienced positive accountability?

Consider setting up regular check-ins with your accountability partner or coach. These sessions provide a chance for you to review your progress, discuss obstacles, and adjust your action plan as needed. It’s like having a compass to keep you heading in the right direction. Honoring your future self is like preparing for an epic adventure.

By embracing your unique journey, setting clear goals, taking small intentional steps, and building a strong support network, you’re on your way to a future that’s even brighter than you can imagine. Remember, the time’s going to pass anyway. You will change anyway. What do you want that change to look like your future self is going to be so proud of you.

See you next week.

Thank you for your time, and especially for your attention today. If you haven’t looked into the ADHD Academy, you’ll want to do that. This is my membership, with binge-able courses, weekly life coaching, new courses every month, a community of like-minded people and more.

Be sure to head over to www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/membership to get the details. See you next week.