Welcome to Learn to Thrive with ADHD. This is the podcast for adults with ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms. I’m your host, Coach Mande John. I’m here to make your life with ADHD easier. Let’s get started.

Many of us with ADHD struggle with decision-making. This matters because not making decisions can keep you stuck, whether it’s the big things, like whether to move or change your career, or the little things like what to have for dinner or what shoes to buy. Luckily, learning to be a good decision- maker is a skill you can learn, like anything else.

First, we will talk about what gets in the way of making decisions when you’re an adult with ADHD, and then we will take you through the process to improve your decision-making skills. Lastly, I’ll give you the coaching tools I use with my private clients to help them not only make decision making easier, but to support themselves through the whole process, as well as access to my free downloads page, where I put resources that help you put into action the things that you learn on the podcast. What gets in the way.

First, overthinking. This is when you dwell on something for so long that it disrupts your life. For many of my clients, they can’t sleep properly when they’re overthinking, or they have trouble going through the tasks in their day.

Number two is staying confused. Sometimes we indulge in confusion in order to not have to make a decision at all. Oftentimes, in confusion, we will ask ourselves questions in our head but not actually answer the questions. What if I don’t get offered the job? What if I don’t like where we’re going to move?

Number three worry. This is also another question. Worry is a big. What if? What are all the possible scenarios that could go wrong? Will I lose money or time with worry? Very much like staying confused. It’s helpful to answer the questions. It’s also helpful to go through a worst-case scenario. Is that scenario something that you’re capable or willing to handle if it happened?

Number four overwhelm. Perhaps there are too many options, or you’re overwhelmed by the effect the decision could have on you or the people you care about. How do we get better at making decisions? Notice, I didn’t say make better decisions, although this process will help you with that as well. What is most important is that we make a decision, and we have our own back about that decision. I’ll explain more on that later.

The steps to better decision-making Step one defines your goal and gathers information. What is the goal? Where do you want this decision to take? You knowing that will help you along to making the best decision toward the goal. Now it’s time to do your research.

How much information can you gather about this decision? Now analyze the information for all your options. What are the pros and cons? What are the short-term and long-term consequences?

Number two seeking advice and collaboration. Who can you talk to that has made a related decision or can give you expert advice on the subject? Or, in the case of a coach like myself, I know the right questions to ask.

To get to the core of what you really want, to help you see the big picture and to support you along the way. There are always people in your life that you can ask for help. Step three trusting yourself and taking action. Once you’ve gone through these steps, it’s just time to take the leap.

If, by the end of this process, both options are looking pretty equal, it’s time to just choose one and move forward. Go for it. You can always pivot if needed. Now let’s get to the coaching.

The thing we fear more than anything when making decisions is what we will say to ourselves about that decision. This is always true. We’re scared of the voice inside us telling us that we were wrong, we don’t know what we’re doing, or we must stop.

Even if it comes down to some sort of loss of relationship, time or money, it’s still ultimately about how we’re going to talk to ourselves about that. After I was done with college, I had attended several schools, racked up a lot of debt, when I was telling myself I was wrong for doing that, made a mistake, or I should have done it differently. Those decisions I made were painful.

Looking at it now, I see the experience of the things I learned, the people I met and the places I lived. There’s no pain when I think of it that way. What if we just decide ahead of time that we will not make ourselves wrong for the decision we make? Easy ways to do this are to decide. It’s a learning experience. You’re simply learning what you want and what you don’t want in life. Be kind to yourself.

Every client I have talked to about this told me that if someone they loved made that same decision, they would never shame them about it. In fact, what they say is almost always the same. It’s some form of they made the best decision they could. At the time, I created a worksheet that you can find for free on my website. That will take you through this process, asking you the questions that I would ask you if you were my client.

You can find the link in the show notes or go to www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/free-downloads and get it and many other resources there. Would you like to work with me one-on-one? Book a consultation call while you’re on the website, stay tuned to hear about the ADHD Academy and I’ll see you next week.

Thank you for your time, and especially for your attention today. If you haven’t looked into the ADHD Academy, you’ll want to do that. This is my membership, with binge-able courses, weekly life coaching, new courses every month, a community of like-minded people and more.

Be sure to head over to www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/membership to get the details.

See you next week.