Do you feel overwhelmed when life throws challenges your way? Does pressure leave you feeling physically ill, sweaty, and anxious? If you have ADHD, stress can hit harder and linger longer than it might for others. The good news is that stress tolerance is a skill you can develop—like a muscle that grows stronger with the right kind of exercise.

Welcome to part five of our Executive Function Series, where we’re exploring the essential skills that help ADHD brains thrive. Today, we’re diving into stress tolerance: your ability to stay steady and functional even when facing challenging situations.

Understanding Stress Tolerance with ADHD

Before we jump into strategies, it’s important to understand that not all stress is harmful. In the right amounts, stress can actually enhance performance—sharpening focus, boosting motivation, and pushing you to take action.

Think of stress like a volume control:

• Too low: You feel bored and unmotivated
• Too high: Your system gets overwhelmed
• Just right: You rise to the occasion and feel accomplished afterward

The challenge for those with ADHD is that our stress response often jumps straight from “too low” to “too high,” bypassing that productive middle zone. This happens because ADHD brains:

• Process emotions more intensely
• Have difficulty filtering non-essential information
• Often operate in “urgency mode” as a default state
• May have lower baseline dopamine, which affects stress regulation

My Personal Stress Tolerance Journey

Let me share a personal example that might resonate with you. For years, preparing to host guests would send me into a complete tailspin. I believed everything had to be perfect—the house spotless, the food exceptional, the timing precise. If someone asked me to handle one extra task, like picking something up from the store, I would become overwhelmed to the point of physical symptoms.

I was operating well beyond my stress tolerance threshold, which made the entire experience miserable—for me and probably for those around me too.

What changed? I learned to build my stress tolerance through intentional practices, reframing my thoughts, and creating systems that supported rather than overwhelmed me. Today, I can host guests with significantly less stress, delegate tasks without guilt, and actually enjoy the experience.

That’s what building stress tolerance looks like in real life. It’s not about eliminating stress—it’s about expanding your capacity to handle it productively.

Three Powerful Strategies for Building Stress Tolerance

Let’s dive into three practical strategies you can implement today to start building your stress tolerance muscle:

Strategy 1: Reframe Stress as a Challenge, Not a Threat

The language we use to describe our experiences shapes how we feel about them. When you perceive something as a threat, your body launches into fight-or-flight mode, flooding your system with stress hormones. But when you view the same situation as a challenge, your body responds differently—you still get performance-enhancing hormones, but without the debilitating effects of panic.

How to implement this strategy:

• Notice when you’re using threat language (“I’ll never get this done”)
• Consciously shift to challenge language (“This is an opportunity to grow”)
• Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this situation?”
• Remind yourself of past challenges you’ve successfully navigated

This reframing doesn’t deny the difficulty of what you’re facing—it simply puts you in a more empowered position to handle it.

Strategy 2: Develop Stress Relief Habits

ADHD brains often run in high gear for extended periods, making regular stress relief not just helpful but essential. The key is developing habits that fit naturally into your day so they actually happen consistently.

How to implement this strategy:

• Create a “stress reset” list of activities that work for you
• Include options that take different amounts of time (30 seconds, 5 minutes, 30 minutes)
• Post this list where you’ll see it when stressed
• Schedule regular stress relief breaks before you need them

One of my clients, a freelance designer, would completely shut down when multiple client emails arrived simultaneously. We created a calming reset routine for her: a quick walk, petting her dogs, and returning to work with her favorite music playing. The result? She started with just two emails, checked in with herself, and then decided if she needed another reset or could continue.

This simple system not only reduced her stress but also improved her business. She responded to job requests faster, gave clients more consistent updates, and even started earning more because she wasn’t avoiding her inbox.

Small habit, big results. And over time, her stress tolerance increased to the point where handling multiple emails no longer triggered panic.

Strategy 3: Use the Power of Prioritization

When everything feels urgent, stress skyrockets. The solution is prioritization—but in a way that works for the ADHD brain.

Traditional prioritization methods often require too much analysis, which can actually increase stress for ADHD minds. Instead, I’ve developed a visual prioritization system that gives structure while maintaining flexibility.

How to implement this strategy:

• Create a daily priority sheet with these five categories:
  1. If nothing else: Your one non-negotiable task for the day
  2. Main intentions: Top priorities deserving focused attention
  3. Would be nice: Optional wins to pursue if you have capacity
  4. Would like to: Enjoyable tasks that matter to you
  5. Helping others: Ways to contribute without losing track of your own needs

This system works because it’s:

• Visually calming
• Limited in scope
• Balanced between necessity and desire
• Acknowledges different types of priorities

A recent personal example: I had placed some paperwork tasks on my “main intentions” list and was feeling stressed about completing them. When I finally examined the papers, I realized the deadlines were a full month away! My ADHD urgency bias had incorrectly categorized these tasks as immediate priorities.

Having a clear prioritization system helped me recognize this error, laugh at myself, and reallocate my energy to truly time-sensitive tasks. This kind of clarity directly reduces stress.

Building Your Stress Tolerance Practice

Improving stress tolerance isn’t about implementing all these strategies perfectly from day one. Instead, think of it as a gradual building process:

1. Start small: Choose one strategy that resonates with you
2. Create implementation triggers: Decide when you’ll use your chosen strategy
3. Track results: Notice what works and what doesn’t for your unique brain
4. Celebrate progress: Acknowledge improvements in your stress response, no matter how small
5. Add complexity gradually: Only add new strategies when the first becomes more automatic

The goal isn’t to eliminate stress—it’s to build your capacity to handle it productively, so it doesn’t derail your entire day or week.

Your Stress Tolerance Toolkit

Before we wrap up, I want to encourage you to create your own personalized stress relief list. This becomes your go-to resource when pressure builds. The key is including activities that:

• Actually help reduce your stress
• Don’t create negative consequences later
• Take various amounts of time to accommodate different situations
• Appeal to you in different emotional states

For example, scrolling social media might temporarily distract you from stress, but often leaves you feeling worse afterward. Instead, consider activities like:

• A brisk 5-minute walk outside
• 3 minutes of stretching
• A quick breathing exercise
• Listening to one favorite song
• Writing a quick gratitude list

The best stress relief activities aren’t about avoidance—they’re about processing and releasing tension so you can approach challenges with a clearer mind.

Your Next Step

Today, I invite you to take one small action toward building your stress tolerance:

1. Download the free prioritization sheet (link in the resources below)
2. Create your personal stress reset list
3. Practice reframing one stressful situation you’re currently facing

Remember that stress tolerance is like any other skill—it develops through consistent practice and patience with yourself. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

What’s your go-to stress relief strategy that actually helps without creating negative consequences later? Share in the comments below—you might discover new tools to add to your toolkit!

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This article is part of our Executive Function Series, exploring practical strategies for managing ADHD challenges. Join us next time as we tackle organization: how to organize your mind, your things, and your work/home life.

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