Do I have ADHD? As a coach for adults with ADHD, I encounter something heartbreaking almost daily: people who check all the boxes for ADHD symptoms—some even diagnosed—yet still doubt whether they “really” have it.
The self-doubt is real, and the internal dialogue is relentless:
- “Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough”
- “Maybe I just haven’t found the right system”
- “Maybe I’m just lazy”
- “Maybe there’s something else wrong with me entirely”
- “Maybe everyone else is just doing better than me”
Sound familiar? You might even be hearing these messages from people in your life.
This breaks my heart because it tears down self-esteem and causes people to continue struggling alone instead of getting the support they desperately need. If you’re relating to any of this, you’re not alone—and more importantly, you deserve help.
Understanding ADHD: What It Really Is
Let’s start with the basics. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, impulsivity, and/or hyperactivity that interfere with daily functioning.
In simpler terms, ADHD comes in three types:
- ADHD Inattentive Type (what used to be called ADD)
- ADHD Hyperactive-Impulsive Type
- ADHD Combined Type (both inattentive and hyperactive symptoms)
A Note About ADD
If you’re wondering where ADD fits in: it’s no longer in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition). If you were diagnosed with ADD years ago, you likely have what’s now called ADHD Inattentive Type—you weren’t presenting as hyperactive. But it’s worth discussing with your doctor for clarity.
The Real Impact: It’s Not Just About Focus
Here’s something crucial to understand: ADHD affects the most basic aspects of daily life. As someone diagnosed at 42, I know firsthand how pervasive these struggles can be.
My clients come to me for help with tasks that might seem “simple” to others:
- Waking up in the morning
- Brushing teeth and basic hygiene
- Getting dressed
- Exercising regularly
- Cleaning (dishes, laundry, general tidying)
- Grocery shopping
- Planning and preparing meals
- Remembering to eat the food they prepared
- Getting to work on time
- Maintaining communication with friends and family
I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
Breaking the Should-Shame Cycle
Here’s what I tell my clients: “Should” and shame are married. You bring in one, you get the other.
When you think “I should just be able to do these things,” you’re inviting shame to the party. The sooner we normalize that these tasks ARE genuinely difficult for people with ADHD, the sooner we can move past shame and into problem-solving.
These struggles aren’t character flaws. They’re symptoms of a neurodevelopmental difference. And there are strategies that can help (which I’ll cover in future posts).
Why Get Diagnosed?
People seek ADHD diagnosis for various reasons:
- Peace of mind – Knowing it’s not “something else” or a personal failing
- Workplace accommodations – Legal protections and support
- Medication options – Access to treatments that might help
- Making sense of the past – Understanding why certain things have always been harder
- Validation – External confirmation that your struggles are real
The Diagnosis Process: What to Expect
If you suspect you have ADHD and want to pursue diagnosis, here’s what you need to know:
Who Can Diagnose ADHD?
In the US, you can see:
- A psychologist
- A psychiatrist
- A general practitioner (though specialists are often more thorough)
Note for UK readers: Wait times for assessment can be extremely long—sometimes up to 5 years. I recommend getting on the list ASAP, and many people pursue coaching while waiting for assessment.
What Happens During Assessment?
1. Clinical Interview Your doctor will ask about:
- Medical history
- Family history
- Childhood experiences
- Current symptoms
- How symptoms affect your daily functioning
2. Rating Scales You might complete questionnaires or checklists evaluating ADHD symptoms. Sometimes family, friends, or coworkers are asked to complete these too, sharing their observations.
3. Medical Examination A physical exam and medical history help rule out other causes like:
- Sleep disorders
- Thyroid issues
- Neurological conditions
4. Additional Testing Some providers conduct tests to assess:
- Cognitive functioning
- Learning abilities
- Other relevant factors
The evaluation is thorough because ADHD symptoms can overlap with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or learning disabilities. Accurate diagnosis is crucial for effective treatment.
After Diagnosis: Treatment Options
If diagnosed, your provider will discuss treatment options, which might include:
- Medication
- Behavioral therapy
- ADHD coaching
- A combination of approaches
The Most Important Message
If you’re struggling with these symptoms—whether diagnosed or not—you deserve help.
You don’t need to wait for a formal diagnosis to start implementing ADHD-friendly strategies. You don’t need to prove your struggles are “bad enough.” You don’t need anyone’s permission to seek support.
Just choose a starting point and trust yourself.
Next Steps
- If you want diagnosis: Contact a healthcare provider and start the process
- If you’re unsure: Consider working with an ADHD coach who can help you navigate symptoms while you decide
- If you’re waiting for assessment: Don’t wait to get help—coaching and self-help strategies can start immediately
- If you’re already diagnosed but doubting: Remember that imposter syndrome is common with ADHD. Your diagnosis is valid.
Remember: Your struggles are real, your feelings are valid, and support is available. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Learn more at www.learntothrivewithadhd.com
Watch YT episode: https://youtu.be/lIv7l_BQZt0
